The Method of Sentence Breaking in Russian-to-Chinese Translation

In the process of translation, we often encounter long sentences such as compound and complex sentences. To make the translated text concise and clear, and to avoid lengthy modifiers, we can break down the original sentences into shorter segments. Taking English as an example:

Original: Such is a human nature in the West that a great many people are often willing to sacrifice higher pay for the privilege of becoming white collar workers.

Although the original text has only one period, it is actually a complex sentence where "that a great many...workers" elaborates on "human nature in the West." In translation, we can employ the method of breaking the sentence and placing "Such is a human nature in the West" later.

Translation: 许多人宁愿牺牲比较高的工资以换取成为白领工人的社会地位，这在西方倒是人之常情。

In Russian-to-Chinese translation, there are also many instances requiring sentence breaking. 

First Scenario: Verbs as Modifiers

Original: Он полон горячего желания попробовать себя в любом деле, своим трудом украсить родную землю, отблагодарить родной народ.

Literal Translation: 他充满了要在心爱的工作中考验一下自己，用自己的劳动来美化祖国的大地，报答祖国人民的热望。

By reading through the translation, we can condense it to "他充满了热望" (He is filled with aspirations). The literal translation contains excessive modifiers for "热望," necessitating sentence breaking. In the original, "желание делать что" contains "делать(попробовать)" (to test oneself) which modifies "желание" (wish). "горячее желание" translates to "热望" (fiery aspiration). Thus, we can use "желание" as a boundary for breaking the sentence.

Translation: 他满怀热望，要在心爱的工作中考验一下自己，用自己的劳动美化祖国的大地，以报答祖国的人民。

Second Scenario: Prepositions as Boundaries

Original: Пришел большой, грузный человек с наголо бритой головой и начальническим басом.

Literal Translation: 来了一个身材高大，体格魁梧，光着头，带着领导般低嗓门的人。

Reading through the translation reveals a similar issue as the first example. We can condense it to "来了一个人" (A person came), but the literal translation has too many modifiers. Chinese emphasizes parallelism, so we aim to pair two modifiers of equal length—"身材高大" (tall) and "体格魁梧" (sturdy). We then translate the prepositional phrase starting with "с" into a new sentence: "光着头，说起话来，操着一副首长惯用的低嗓门" (Bald-headed, he spoke in a bass voice typical of leaders).

Translation: 来了一个身材高大，体格魁梧的人，光着头，说起话来，操着一副首长惯用的低嗓门。

Third Scenario: Adjectives as Boundaries

Original: Промышленность пока еще переживает состояние некоторого, правда, небольшого, но все же движения вверх.

Literal Translation: 工业暂时还处于虽然不大，但总算是略有上升的状态中。

We can simplify this to "工业处于上升状态" (Industry is in a state of growth), but the literal translation has too many modifiers. Therefore, we can reformulate the second half into an emphatic expression.

Translation: 工业暂时还略有上升，虽然幅度不大，但毕竟是上升。

In, summary, in encountering long sentences, we can first condense them and assess whether there are excessive modifiers. If so, we can break the sentences, translating some of the modifiers as separate sentences, thereby achieving a concise translation that aligns with Chinese expression habits.

附练习

1. 原：Партия большевиков развернула огромную работу по политическому воспитанию и организации масс.

译：布尔什维克党开展了政治上教育群众和组织群众的大量工作。

缩句得“布尔什维克党开展了大量工作”。以此为断句基础，得“布尔什维克党开展了大量工作，从政治上教育群众和组织群众。”

2. 原：На второй полосе пестрели корреспонденты о предоктябрьской соревновании заводов.

译：第二版上登满了有关各个工厂迎接十月革命节开展劳动竞赛情况的各种通讯。

缩句得“第二版上登满了各种通讯”，以此为单独一句。译为“第二版上登满了各种通讯，报道了各个工厂迎接十月革命节开展劳动竞赛的情况。”

3. 原：На что должна опираться наша научно обоснованная программа решительного совершенствования идеологической работы?

译：我们坚决完善意识形态工作的科学根据的计划应该依靠什么？

直译句子不但冗长，且无法正确表达原文的含义。应该以修饰语—二格（решительного совершенствования идеологической работы）为独立句子，翻译为“为了坚决完善意识形态工作，我们应该依靠什么制定有科学依据的计划？”

◀️：How Did the First Translator in History Manage to Bridge the Language Gap Among Humans?

▶️：The Expressive Effect of Translation